Jables: Just looking at the movie poster you can almost tell what this movie is going to be like. Ok let us have a quick look at the premise of the film. Basically you have this super awesome corp of superhero aliens (round about 3,600 of them) and they use the power of "will" (which apparently is the colour green, go figure) and use this to fight all types of evil. Anyway, this big bad guy named Parallax has turned up again after a very long time to do bad stuff. So Tom Strong (pinky red guy on the poster) goes to the Jedi council and asks for help and stuff. He takes a bunch of these super awesome superhero guys in green to the big bad and get their arses handed to them.
Meanwhile on Earth Ryan Reynolds is playing Ryan Reynolds in every movie he's in. He's cocky, doesn't play by the rules and still manages to have a job and friends. Anyway he gets chosen to be a Green Lantern for no real reason and goes and does a training montage with Michael Clark Duncan. None of the other Green Lanterns want to be his friend so he decides to go back to Earth and goes back to being Ryan Reynolds. Unfortunately the big bad rocks up and threatens Earth and Ryan Reynolds decides that he should do something about it. He finds the only weakness the Big Bad has and beats him. Surprise, surprise all the Green Lanterns love him now, especially Tom Strong.
|Tom Strong, under used and shitty effects in one.|
What's the casting like? Great on paper. Tom Strong, Michael Clarke Duncan (voice), Tim Robbins, Geoffrey Rush (voice), Peter Sarsgaard and even Ryan Reynolds all seem like a great cast. Unfortunately Strong, Duncan and Rush are under used. Robbins and Sarsgaard's characters are completely pointless and Reynolds is just Reynolds. Oh and Blake Lively is the eye candy in this flick and even she can't save it.
|More shitty effects and eye candy.|
So basically not even Tom Strong or Blake Lively can save this film. The boring story and terrible effects are probably the biggest downfall of the movie. 3/10 is probably still being generous.
|Probably the most shitty of shitty effects.|
Like Odysseus and Achilles, like two of the three Musketeers, like Sherlock and Watson, like Kane and Lynch before us, we ventured forth. We stood on the precipice, and dared to press play. We were ill-prepared for the storm that followed. A storm of nothingness, of something so uninteresting as to cause anger, agitation, sadness, emptiness. We sat, shuffling in our seats, scratching our faces, our bodies - itchy all of a sudden, why so itchy? - letting out groans and moans of boredom. I called out, "There is nothing happening, oh my god I'm so bored!" but found no respite. My comrade fidgeted, shaking his head, shivering.
|Michael Clarke Duncan alien and Ryan Reynolds.|
|Tim Robbins... old and fat.|
J: Am I Sherlock or Watson? Oh and damn the Village sucked.
|One more bit of shitty effects.|