Sunday, July 10, 2011
Shit Albums: Animal by Ke$ha (2010)
For some reason I have decided to review Ke$ha's seminal album Animal.
Ke$ha burst on to the music scene in 2010 with a single titled "Tik Tok." Ke$ha, seemingly coming from obscurity, was now a superstar, and that damn song was played everywhere. I hardly even listen to the radio, and once I managed to hear Tik Tok three times in one day. And not because I wanted to.
The album starts with the first song "Your Love is my Drug", and one thing immediately stood out to me. She sings/raps/talks with this sort of trashy, over the top ridiculous voice. She does this and discusses things that are happening and things that she's doing. Like walking down alleys and stuff. Eventually the chorus hits, and we find out that there is some mysterious man who has some awesome "love" (possibly code for crack?). She honestly just sounds like she has layered and autotuned the fuck out of her voice. The music sounds like it was done by a year 10 music student on his Casio keyboard.
The next song is the juggernaut "Tik Tok." You're greeted with the same rap/talk thing. This song is really about getting fucked up. Apparently waking up feeling like P. Diddy is a thing. I don't know what it means. That doesn't even make sense, how the fuck do I know what P. Diddy feels like when he wakes up! The lyrics are just shit, and again she's using the whole talking about doing stuff, like getting pedicures and feeling tipsy. The music sounds like a Nintendo game, but not in a good way, like someone is just going boop beep bop on said Casio keyboard. The chorus seems like it's repeated about a thousand times. More talk about getting drunk, talking about Po-Po....ugh fuck I hate this shit! Now she wants me to put my hands up. NO!
Ok Jables here, apparently Quantom has decided that he couldn't take it any more, so I will finish the review for him.
How about we skip to the next song.
The next song on the listing is called "Take It Off". It appears she is sticking with the theme of getting drunk and partying and getting down and dirty. I can live with that I guess. The first thing that hits me as the song starts is a beat. Beats are good. But oh wait here comes the terrible auto tune and talk singing that Quantom mentioned earlier. As the song goes on I can hear a constant echo voice that I start paying more attention to. Is it a subliminal message trying to reach me? Oh no it's just a crappy echo of Kesha (I refuse to include the $) using the auto tune. Is it just me or does she sound like a guy at times?
Next song begins. Please have some redeeming qualities. Kiss n Tell is up next. I wonder what this is about. Starts off with a great 8 bit type tune and then some half singing. Sounds more like The Veronicas than Kesha. At least there isn't any auto tune. Whoops spoke too soon. Only took 33 seconds. A few naughty words in this one. But the underlying themes of sex are here yet again. No drinking though. This is a much more poppy 80-90s style song but not like the good ones. Now she is repeating kiss n tell. I get it Kesha, that is the name of the song.
Ok so we have reached 4 songs in and Quantom has left and I seriously have a headache. A quick look over the track list and I see a song titled "Dinosaur". Oh I love Dinosaurs. We skip down to track 11 and hope for the best.
Oh God she is spelling dinosaur out to me now. Thanks a lot Kesha. And yes this song also has auto tune in it. I think I have a nose bleed. Fuck this shit.
It's Quantom back again. Looking over the track list I saw a song called "Party at a Rich Dude's House." Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. I just have to listen to this song. There's guitar in this song, a riff that repeats through the whole song. Like 3 chord style. The lyrics are again about getting drunk. Only the twist this time is that there is in fact a party at a rich dude's house. I have to make a confession. This song made me laugh because it's so shit. It is so incredibly repetitive, I'm pretty sure I could count 50 times when "there's a party at a rich dude's house" is mentioned. It also features such lyrical gems as "I threw up in the closet and I don't care."
Alright I can't take it anymore, this album is complete rubbish. Who listens to this and thinks "THIS IS SO AWESOME!" You should be ashamed.
I give this album 0 being drunks out of 10. Also stay tuned for my upcoming album "Quantom - Doing Things Including Getting Drunk and Perhaps Partying."